Cryin' pretty
by bigk4062
Summary: Companion piece to survivors guilt, focusing on Mai.


I guess you can kind of call this chapter a song-fic chapter? I was inspired by Carrie Underwood's 'Cry Pretty' song to start writing this one. Anyway, this will be short companion stories that don't focus on Mokuba... just going to write them if the mood strikes so please let me know if they are worth continuing!

_"Your friends have abandoned you my dear. Look at how happy they are without you, playing around without a care in the world, while you suffer. None of them care about you, they don't give you a thought when you're not around." _

_Marik's voice echoed in Mai's head as she stared down at her friends, who were currently at Kaiba Land, splitting up into groups depending on what ride they wanted to go on. Meanwhile, she was trapped in an hour glass, feeling the sand hit her face as time started to get away from her, making her drift farther and farther from them._

Mai shot up in bed, shaking. Another night, another nightmare. It seemed like they were getting worse all the time, memories of that horrible time she had been wrapped inside Marik's twisted game, believing that anyone who ever met anything to her was moving farther and farther out of her reach. She got up, walking around the hotel room trying to catch her breath.

She was in Tokyo, getting ready to compete in a huge Duel Monster's tournament. None of the kids from Domino were there, something that Mai had made sure of before she signed up. It wasn't time yet, she wasn't strong enough to face them after all of the awful things she had done. Instead, she hid in different hotels, changing her phone number several times and making sure there was no information about her whereabouts unless they were following the tournaments closely.

Taking her hair out of its night time braid, she sighed, standing up and rolling her head back and forth, listening to her neck crack. A quick call down to room service, ordering breakfast and a paper to her room, and she was stepping into the shower, intent on scrubbing away the nightmare from last night.

As she was finishing up, there was a knock on the door, so she quickly wrapped herself up in her bathrobe and answered, accepting the tray with a smile and thank you, as well as a nice tip. Settling down at the small table in the room, she quickly ate her breakfast, stopping only to take the anti-depressants that her doctor had prescribed her several weeks ago.

"Down the hatch." She mumbled, swallowing them quickly and making a face. The pills helped her function during the day, but the numbness that came with them was something she could do without.

"Let's see what's going on in the world." She said, picking up the paper and idly flipping through it. That was, until she reached the entertainment section.

Posted on the last page above the fold was a picture of three people that she knew very well- Kaiba sitting on a park bench talking on his phone, while Joey and Mokuba leaned in front of him laughing about something, Joey's hand lightly touching Kaiba's shoulder.

_'Is he off the market?' _ The headline questioned, and Mai froze, staring at the picture in shock.

"Joey and Kaiba? When did that happen?" She whispered to herself, touching the picture in front of her to make sure it was real. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she took off towards the bathroom, feeling her stomach flipping over to empty out the contents of her breakfast.

X

"_Would you like to play another game with me my dear? Perhaps this time you'll come out victorious against me hum? It's too bad your precious Joey is so busy screwing his rival that he's never bothered to come look for you… don't worry though I'm more than enough man for you to handle." _  
_Marik's voice whispered into her ear, his hands drifting down to her skirt while Mai just sat there, too tired to move anymore._

X

"How are you feeling today Mai?" Her therapist questioned, penned posed on a piece of paper. Mai had called Dr. Ginsberg right after winning the tournament in Tokyo, panicking after the article she had read in the paper about Joey and Kaiba.  
That had led to a lengthy discussion on the phone, and a scheduled appointment as soon as Mai could make it to her office. That led to now, the other woman waiting patiently for Mai to speak.

"I…I….I…I don't know." Mai whispered, looking out the window. Dr. Ginsberg wrote something down quickly before eyeing her client.

"Did you call Joey and see what's going on?"

"I don't have his number anymore. I've changed phones so much that I lost all of their numbers." Mai admitted, still looking out her window.

Dr. Ginsberg frowned, thumbing through her notes quickly to look for something. "Didn't you tell me once that your friend Yugi's grandfather owned some sort of shop? Did you try calling it and seeing if you could reach someone?"

Mai blinked, tearing her eyes away from the window to stare at her. "I didn't." She admitted, and Dr. Ginsberg smiled at her encouragingly.

"Would you like too? I could look up the number and you can call him right now. Or I can call if you'd like." Mai shook her head, unconsciously curling up into herself.

"I don't want to burden them with this." She whispered, looking away again.

"I don't think your friends see you as a burden Mai. If anything, I think they miss you a whole lot." Dr. Ginsberg observed, looking over at her client with a soft smile. Mai shook her head, not buying it one bit.

"I hurt them all so much, I don't know why they would care about me at all." She whispered, touching her face gently to stop herself from crying. Dr. Ginsberg sighed, tapping her pen against the paper as she thought about what she was going to say next.

"Mai, can I tell you a story about my life, would that be ok?" Mai nodded slowly, still curled up.

"I was a pretty girl. My raven hair I got from my father, and my green eyes came from my mom. A lot of things came easy to me because of my features, people would fawn over me because of how I looked. My best friend when I was a child was what people would call 'plain'- she was a great person, but people often over looked her cause she didn't look like a model. Being her friend was what started me on the path to becoming a therapist- realizing how cruel that humans could be, and how badly words really did hurt someone."

Dr. Ginsberg paused, noting that Mai was still curled up tight. She got up, picking up her chair and placing it right next to the blonde, sitting down again before continuing.

"Right after high school, I married my husband. He was getting ready to join the US Army, and we wanted to be together when he got stationed. First it was Texas, which is where I started school. Walking into that building was the first time I'd ever faced real adversity- as a 'pretty girl, I was not someone who was supposed to be smart and want a career. By the time people started respecting me, we were moving to Oklahoma. There it wasn't so bad, mostly because I had gotten used to the comments and jeers and didn't let them bother me. We stayed for 4 years, long enough for me to finish my Masters and get ready to go for my doctorate. My husband was deployed shortly after I moved to North Carolina, and I didn't see him for over a year."

"As soon as he got back, he went on leave and came to visit me. We knew we would have to spend some time apart- he had put in a request for transfer that hadn't gone through. Shortly after that visit, I found out I was pregnant. He was so happy when I told him, but 3 months later I was in the hospital after suffering a miscarriage. They were unable to contact my husband for several days because of training, but I had a ton of people contacting me. All of them sad, all of them crying, while I just sat there, numb and unable to do anything but console everyone around me. When I was released, I went home to the apartment I lived in for school, and just sat in the dark. The next day, the phone rang and it was my best friend, standing on our door stop with flowers and Chinese. I opened the door and she wrapped me in a hug, dripping grease down the back of my shirt."

"That night, she asked me if I had cried that day, and I told her no, that I hadn't cried at all since being in the hospital. She smiled and called me a 'pretty crier' which made me laugh. I had never heard that term before, but I could guess what it meant. She told me she learned about it in High School, when she would lock herself in the bathroom to get away from people for a minute. 'Mascara runs, no matter how waterproof they claim it is. There are some things that you can do and look flawless. Crying, real crying, is not one of them. Go ahead and try.' She sat back, digging into her ice cream and waiting. Sure enough, I could feel something bubbling up inside me, and soon I was sobbing, deep cries while my friend sat there and encouraged me."

Tears were welling up in Mai's eyes, and she blinked them back, not wanted to cry in front of someone. Dr. Ginsberg noticed that, notating something on her pad.

"Mai, you are a strong, beautiful independent woman who has suffered something terrible. Now, some people deal with things by drinking, some by drugs, some by leaning on their family and friends, while others just bury it deep down within themselves until something happens to bring it out. I told you this story because this week, I want you to be an 'ugly' crier. You don't have to do it every day, but once, when something happens that bothers you, I want you to have a cry that makes your mascara run, and see how that makes you feel afterwards."

Dr. Ginsberg handed Mai a supply of make-up remover pads before continuing. "You've spend your life being untouchable, give yourself a break and let your emotions come through, and don't worry about anyone judging you for being 'hysterical' or 'hormonal.' They're just words, and anybody who knows you knows how far from the truth they are."

Mai nodded, shaking her head to clear it for a minute.

"Now, your other project is simple. I want you to look up the number to your friends shop. You don't have to call, you don't have to contact anyone unless you really want too, but I want you to have it, and next week we will talk about how comfortable you are calling them. Is that ok with you?" Mai nodded again, not trusting her voice.

"Good, I'm glad. Now, we only have a few minutes left, so why don't you tell me about the tournament you just won?"

X

_"Ring around the roses, a pocket full of poises, ashes, ashes, Mai's going to fall down!" Marik's voice chuckled out, running his fingers down the large kitchen knife he was holding. The Pharaoh and his friends had been missing for days, right in the middle of the tournament they were in. _

_That left the deranged spirit with nothing to do but torment the people left behind, which included Mai. Right now, she was trapped in the shadows, which were feeding off of her fears and insecurities. They were growing tired though, bored of the young blonde woman, so he wanted to shake things up a bit. _

_"Hello my dear." He whispered, walking in threatening steps towards her. _

_ "Do you like my new toy? I picked up special just for you." He showed her the knife, swinging in towards her menacingly. "I had to get something nice and long so I could stab you through those boobs of yours." _

_ Mai backed up, looking around in terror for something to defend herself. She backed into a wall, turning in surprise to see her friends behind her, talking and laughing and eating pizza. She banged on the wall, hoping to get their attention, but they still ignored her, carrying on like nothing had happened. _

_"Oh Mai, don't worry, they don't even remember you anymore." Marik told her, laughing as he grabbed her by the hair and started to lower the knife._

_Mai opened her eyes with a start, looking around with wide eyes. She had taken a few weeks off of dueling, choosing instead to come back to her small apartment for some rest. Tomorrow was her next appointment with the doctor, and she had yet to accomplish either of her tasks from the last one. _

_"Guess I should get part of this over with." She muttered, opening up her phone and quickly searching for the number of the Game Shop before she lost her nerve. She hovered over it, reading several of the reviews that popped up over the name, finding herself smiling at several of them that mentioned Yugi by name. _

_All of the sudden, she was filled with an over-whelming need to see the shorter duelist again-while she didn't have a connection to him like she had had with Joey, the spikey-haired boy had been responsible for saving her from Marik, and she had never given him a proper thank you. He had the heart of a child, unendingly forgiving and polite, and for that Mai had always appreciated him and the talks they had gone through. _

_She gripped the phone, watching as the numbers blurred as tears came to her eyes, but she blinked them back, unable to let herself go._

X

Dr. Ginsberg sat back in her chair, contemplating her next move. Mai had called her office several hours ago while she was with another client, telling the secretary that she wanted help getting back into touch with her friends. She had called the blonde back as soon as she could, talking to her about the best way to go through with it.

Taking a deep breath, she picked up her office extension, dialing the number Mai had given her and listening to it ringing.

"Game Shop." Someone answered, and Dr. Ginsberg smiled.

"Hello, my name is Alana Ginsberg, I'm a psychiatrist in Okinawa. I'm looking for a Solomon Moto?"

"That would be me, what can I help you with?" The voice answered, sounding wary.

"Mr. Moto, I'm sorry to call you so late, but my client asked me to contact you for her. Her name is Mai Valentine, and she says she's a friend of your grandson Yugi Moto?" The older man hesitated for a second before answering in the affirmative. "I've been treating Ms. Valentine for the past few months and she has given me permission to speak with you. She is at the point of her therapy that she would like to re-establish contact with your grandson and a Joseph Wheeler. Would that be possible to set up, perhaps for tomorrow?"

A long pause, and Dr. Ginsberg held her breath. As a therapist, she knew that sometimes reaching out to the people who had been hurt by her clients could backfire, and she was scared that that could be happening now. Finally, Solomon spoke. "I can have them come straight here after school tomorrow, but I'd rather not tell them why just in case. This isn't the first time they have heard from Mai and had her disappear again, and I do not wish to see it happen if I can help it."  
"That's perfectly understandable Mr. Moto. I have Mai coming in at 3 tomorrow, I will have her call sometime between then and 3:30 be alright?" Solomon agreed, speaking for a few more minutes before hanging up the phone. Dr. Ginsberg let out her breath, placing her elbows on her desk and her head in her hands.

X

"Are you ready?" Dr. Ginsberg questioned her client and Mai nodded, watching as the older woman picked up her phone and dialed.

"Hello Mr. Moto, it's Dr. Ginsberg. I have Mai here, is either of the boys there?"

"Just a second, they brought all of their friends over, dang kids taking over my house.." Solomon muttered into the phone, and a couple of scuffling sounds were heard, then Joey picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Joseph Wheeler?"

"Umm… yes?"

"Mr. Wheeler, my name is Dr. Ginsberg, I'm a psychiatrist who has been treating a friend of yours Mai Valentine?"

"….Mai? Is she ok? Where is she?"

"Actually Mr. Wheeler, she is right here with me. I'm going to put you on speaker phone so you two can talk ok? Hold on just a second." With that Dr. Ginsberg hit a button, hanging up the receiver afterwards. "Mr. Wheeler, are you there?"

"Yea, I'm still here." Joey replied, his familiar Brooklyn accent filling up the room, causing Mai's eyes to tear up as well.

"Mai? Are you there? Is it really you?" She fought back a sob, grinning like an idiot as she responded.

"Of course it's me Joseph. Who were you expecting, Pegasus?" Joey gulped at the name, trying to tame down the huge smile on his face.

"We've missed you so much! We watched your duels in Tokyo the other week, they were awesome! I almost stole one of rich-boy's helicopters and flew up there to see you, but Yugi convinced me that wasn't a good idea."

"Yugi was right, security would have thrown a nobody like you right out on the street." Mai teased, the sound of Joey's laughter bringing a huge smile to her face.

"You're probably right, I've been focusing on finishing school right now, and then maybe I'll get back into the circuit. Maybe we can tag team against Yugi sometime!"

Mai smiled, knowing that it would probably take both of them to bring down the smaller duelist. "Hey, hold on a sec, I'm getting stared at by people." Joey covered the receiver, muttering something to someone in the background. "Sorry Mai, everyone's here and they all want to talk to you real bad. Can I pass you around so they can say hi?"

Mai hesitated for a second, looking up at Dr. Ginsberg who smiled and nodded encouragingly. Mai smiled back as Tea got the phone, the brunette's voice completely choked up within seconds of saying hello.

Once she made sure the blonde was ok, Tea began one of her epic friendship speeches, telling Mai how much they had missed her and how they were there to support her through this rough time. Mai groaned to herself while Dr. Ginsberg suppressed a smile.

Finally, Ryou got the phone away and gave Mai a quick hello, followed by the rest of the gang. By the time Mai hung up, she was grinning from ear to ear, happy to have finally connected with her friends again. She thanked Dr. Ginsberg, taking a few breaths to center herself before getting up to leave, knowing that her appointment time was up.

X

That night, Mai pulled out a picture of herself and the gang during Battle City. Serenity was sitting on a bench in between Mai and Tea while Joey was standing behind him, arguing with Tristan and Duke while Yugi just laughed and Ryou shook his head.  
Mokuba had taken the picture while they were on the blimp waiting for the contest to begin, and Yugi had given her a copy after the Dartz disaster. The realization of what she had missed out on finally hit her, and Mai finally gave in, tears rolling down her face and dripping black mascara on her hands.


End file.
